Day 11 - Post Surgery

Okay, I have to post a few victories:

• Yesterday, I did leg lifts with ankle weights on my bad leg and used a weight machine.
  
  
• I rode the exercise bike and was able to bend my knee enough to actually pedal all the way around.
  
  
• I got on the scale this morning and it is down from where I was before surgery (thank goodness, I've been trying to be really careful, but I can't remember the last time I was this sedentary for this long.)
  
  
• I get to go back to work on Monday (I know, it sounds like a strange victory, but I am looking forward to a little bit more "normal" slipping back into my life.)
  
  
• I figured out a way to "roll over" in the giant leg brace that I have to sleep in--it felt so good to sleep on my side for a little bit.
  
  
• ....and last but not least, at Christmas, my in-laws bought my husband and I season passes to ride roller coasters this year. (Yeah, I know, we are 37 years old--but this stuff keeps us young.) Due to an amusement park merger, one pass now gets you into a bunch of parks. Before the season is through, we plan to hit Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio, Dorney Park in Allentown, PA, King's Island near Cincinnati, Ohio and maybe, just maybe, Knott's Berry Farms in California (which becomes Knott's Scary Farms near Halloween). I actually feel good enough to start thinking about riding roller coasters again! I think that is a really good sign.
  

Day 9 - Post Surgery

Yesterday, I had a follow up appointment with my surgeon.  He had fabulous things to say.  My incisions looked good (they took out my stitches).  My quad muscle looked good.  I am able to extend and straighten my leg completely (which is difficult and extremely important in ACL surgery recovery).  He said my healing was ahead of schedule.  I left there feeling really good--like all my hard work and determination is actually paying off.  

Now let me clarify something for you:

When I fell on the ski slopes in Lake Tahoe and tore my ACL and MCL, I did not shed a tear.

When I had to wait five hours in the ER before getting any pain medication, I did not shed a tear.

When I began difficult physical therapy before having my surgery, I did not shed a tear.

When I came out of surgery and begged for something to stop the pain, I did not shed a tear.

When my anesthesia and nerve block wore off and I felt the pain in my knee and hamstring, I did not shed a tear.

When I went to physical therapy and worked really hard the day after my surgery, I did not shed a tear.

Last night, when my husband and I were watching TV, I stretched my leg out over the arm of the sofa so I could press it against the arm to work on my leg straightening while I was icing my knee.  I do stuff like this throughout the day, in addition to the hour of physical therapy that I do every day.  (I haven't missed a single day of doing my therapy yet.)

My husband leaned over to me and said, "I'm really proud of you, you are doing so well with all this.  You are one tough chick."

For some reason, at that moment, I found myself blinking back tears as I tried to focus on the TV.

I never thought of myself as "tough" before but I've found strength that I never knew I had.  Maybe sometimes things really do happen for a reason.  I guess if we are never faced with adversity, we'll never really know the level of our strength.  

This experience really sucks, but I sure am learning a lot about myself in the process.

Day 6 - Post Surgery

Well, it looks like my surgeon wants me to continue to work from home for a few more days. I think it is probably a good idea for me to stay home for a while longer.

As I prop myself up on the couch for the day, (in front of my work computer which now resides on the coffee table temporarily) I look around at my collection of "stuff":

• 1 Can of Sugar free Red Bull
  
  
• 1 Bottle of Ibuprofen
  
  
• 1 Bottle of Percocet
  
  
• 2 Bottles of water
  
  
• 1 plastic cup filled with Diet Cranberry juice mixed with Diet Ginger Ale. (Geez, I drink a lot.)
  
  
• 1 Novel to entertain me between incoming work emails (Currently, The Tenth Circle by Jodi Picoult)
  
  
• 1 Tube of Dr. Pepper flavored lip gloss (to help me comfort me during this difficult time and take me back to the days of my childhood)
  
  
• 1 Cell Phone which periodically gets tucked under my bra strap when I have to crutch across the house when I am home alone. (I fear that something will happen and I will be lying on the floor, stranded, with no way to call for help.)
  
  
• Fully loaded iTunes on "shuffle" all day (today, I've heard everything from Billy Joel to Chris Daughtry to songs from the Grease soundtrack to Norah Jones).
  
  
• 1 Box of Tissues
  
  
• 1 "Cryo Cuff Cooler" to continuously ice my knee.
  
  
• 1 Allure magazine - To inspire me that one day, I may wear heels again, I may wear a skirt again, heck, I might even walk without crutches again! (sigh) What will that day be like? Right now, I can't imagine stuffing my fat, swollen foot (yes, even my foot is swollen) into a pretty sandal with a pedicure on my toes.

Yesterday was the 5 week anniversary of my injury. I've been on crutches for FIVE WEEKS. My physical therapist is hoping to have me walking without crutches (although my leg will still be braced) by the END OF THIS WEEK.

I am so excited I can barely stand it.

The Beginning of the Journey

Well, the surgery is finally behind me and I am on the long, slow road to recovery. I feel like it is a two-lane road, all uphill, where there is no passing allowed and I am stuck behind a really slow truck.

I don't remember much from the day of my surgery. I thought I might remember them asking me to count backwards or something, but I only remember saying goodbye to my husband, having them wheel me out of the room and BOOM, all of a sudden, I was groggy and hurting in a recovery room.

Luckily, they were able to help me out with the pain with a shot of something. I don't know what it was, but I was grateful for it.

When I came home from surgery, I apparently spent the first few hours nibbling on whole wheat saltines and napping. According to my husband, I dozed on and off through at least three music DVDs (The Beatles, Train and Sting). Later in the afternoon, I felt good enough to talk to a few people on the phone, but looking back, those conversations are a little hazy in my mind...

Yesterday, I started working from home. I've been emailing and on the phone with co-workers and vendors (although I am working under the influence of Percocet).

Yesterday was also my first physical therapy appointment, post-surgery. Originally, I thought they were crazy for making me get out of the house and go to therapy the day after my surgery, but it ended up being a really good thing. I was able to get through all of my exercises and stretches and even surprised the therapists by my abilities. I was told that they have seen other people the day after ACL reconstruction surgery who were turning green and getting sick while attempting their exercises. However, my color was good, I felt strong and I was able to do everything they asked me to do without too much difficulty. It was no picnic, but it didn't feel unreasonable. Overall, I think accomplishing what I did in therapy put me in a better state, mentally.

The best part: When I did my leg lifts, it didn't feel like my leg was "loose" at the knee--like it was going to fall off. It actually felt normal again. I think that was the part that surprised me the most. It was like immediate gratification for going through the surgery. I was so excited about it. Funny how excited you can get about something like that when life sort of puts things in perspective for you.

I feel like this is a good start to the rest of my recovery. I've been saving a gift card I received at Christmas time from Tiffany, and I've already decided that I am going to use it to treat myself to a small trinket for when I complete my last physical therapy visit to remind me of what I've been through and what I've accomplished.




It's going to be a long road--I'm just so glad to finally be starting the journey.

Imagine the Theme Song From "Rocky" Playing While You Read This...

Per my surgeon's suggestion, I rode my exercise bike today to loosen up my knee even more pre-surgery.

Let me say it again: I RODE MY EXERCISE BIKE TODAY.

For 45 minutes.

At the toughest resistance.

With two torn tendons in my knee.

Every now and then, it's really cool when you can still find a way to surprise yourself.

Surgery Countdown

Tuesday, March 18 is my official surgery date for ACL reconstruction.

I've had a few days to really process it, and although I am not looking forward to the surgery itself, I am looking forward to feeling better.  

I think it has finally sunk in that tomorrow it has been a whole month since the actual injury took place.  In that time, I've gone from extreme pain and not being able to put any weight on my leg at all, to minimal pain and using only one crutch to help me walk (while wearing a leg brace).  If I can feel this good after a month (and my tendons are still torn), how much better will I feel a month after surgery when they are actually (sort of) putting me back together?

So, I've decided that worrying about it isn't going to do me any good.  Instead, I'm focusing on what soup I'll want to eat after the anesthesia wears off (maybe my husband will make a run to Panera Bread), what books I'll be reading, the television shows I'll get to watch (I'm going to Tivo the 90 minute Bachelor premiere on Monday so I have something good and mindless to watch when I regain consciousness), and how much better I'm going to feel in a few weeks.

And until I do feel better, I have a prescription for Percocet to help ease the pain.  (Yay!)

Please keep me in your prayers for a successful surgery and a complete recovery.  I know it won't be an easy experience, but I think that I'm finally ready.

Setting the Date

Tuesday, March 18th is my tentative surgery date. Everything is pending on whether or not I have complete range of motion back in my knee by this Thursday. Let me tell you...if it is in my power to make it happen--I will.

In the meantime, I am:

Excited, scared, exhilarated, nervous, hopeful, hurting, optimistic and numb.

Please keep me in your prayers. I'll find out more on Thursday...

Top 10 Things You Don't Think About Until You Are On Crutches

1. You can't carry anything by yourself. Suddenly, having lunch or just getting something to drink becomes a process that you just can't do alone.

2. Greyhounds aren't big fans of getting an occasional, accidental whack with a crutch.

3. You need a clear path to the bathroom at night (and to be able to see where you are going) so that you don't whack any greyhounds (or fall and kill yourself or a greyhound).

4. Suddenly, you have to rethink your work wardrobe. Tops that used to be appropriate for work are now too short in the back (because you are always hunched over) or too low cut in the front (because you are always hunched over).

5. You have a whole new appreciation for handicapped stalls and you find creative ways of using your non-handicapped accessible bathrooms at home.

6. Grocery shopping now requires you to drive the "old lady cart" that so conveniently beeps if you have to put it in reverse. Nice. Like I don't feel like enough of a freak.

7. Getting in and out of the shower requires mad "naked crutching" skills. Slippery when wet becomes more than just a Bon Jovi album.

8. You can't sneak up on anybody.

9. Going up and down stairs and in and out of cars while trying to carry anything is almost a scientific impossibility.

10. Nothing matters to you more than looking ahead to the day you can walk again without them. (If you are walking today without them, don't take it for granted.)


If you see a person on crutches today, smile at them. Chances are, it's been a challenging day!

More Good News--Let's Hope It's a New Trend!

I talked to my boss about my surgery situation.  My doctor seemed to think I would not be back at work for a week after my surgery (I should be scheduling my surgery date at my visit next week).

My concern was that I didn't want to:

a - fall behind in my work and be overwhelmed when I returned.

b - have my work dumped on anyone in my absence.

c - have to use 5 sick days or vacation days toward something like this when I will so desperately need to get away when I am healed.

Luckily, the people at my job are going to help me get set up (even if it means packing up my desk top computer from work and bringing it home) so that I can work remotely for a few days.  If I have my computer and a phone, I can do most of my job and at least get by for a few days until I return to the office.  

I managed to step on the scale this morning and I have actually lost weight since the ski trip!  This is not by accident.  I've been keeping track of every morsel of food I have been eating.  The last thing I want to deal with is gaining weight while sitting around with this knee.  I've heard that this injury / surgery can either make you gain weight (if you are not careful about your eating / activity level) or make you more buff (if you eat healthy and keep working out).  I'm shooting for the latter of the two options and it seems I am on track!

Also, my physical therapy homework is going well.  I am actually seeing my progress and I am feeling stronger and better every day.  Now, if I could just get this surgery over with, things should start (hopefully) looking up!

Let's hope there are more good days ahead.