Day 20 - Post Surgery, Emotions

Accomplishment - I am "walking" without any crutches today. (It's more like limping when you have a leg brace on and you can't bend your knee).  Whatever it is that I'm doing--it feels good to be without crutches.

Frustration - It's been almost 3 weeks since my surgery and it has been seven weeks since my injury on the ski slopes.  Seven weeks.  It feels like it has been 6 months.  I never realized that time could go so slow.

Impatience - I'm starting to get antsy now that the weather is getting nice.  I really want to be at the point where I am encouraged to go for a walk instead of encouraged to stay off of my knee to keep the swelling down.  My dogs miss their leashes.  I miss being outdoors.

Perspective - I've met a bunch of people at physical therapy.  (Sort of like jail, I guess, there's a lot of -- "What are you in for?")  One gentleman who sticks in my mind the most is a guy who was in a car accident last June.  Both of his legs were broken and crushed.  He still comes to therapy several times per week and is now able to walk with a cane.  He has big scars on his legs from the surgeries.  He comes in and works really hard.  When I see him, it makes me realize that it could be so much worse.  I am inspired by his attitude, determination and persistence.

Excitement - This will be my last week of going to therapy twice a week.  Next week, I will start going once per week and they will start giving me tasks that I can do at the YMCA.  I can't wait to go back to the Y!  My therapist said that as long as I continue to make the appropriate progress on my own (he will measure my progress every week) he will allow me to substitute some time at the Y so I can extend my PT visits for a few weeks.  (My insurance company only wants to pay for 20 visits).  

Compassion - My therapist told me at my last visit that I shouldn't worry that I only have 20 visits.  He said that they will not let me go before I am ready even if they have to allow me a few visits as a loss on their part.

Support/Humor - One of my new therapy exercises is to roll myself along in a chair with wheels on it.  I don't have a chair with wheels on it on the first floor of my house, so I have to do it at work.  Today, I had a train of people following in their own chairs, scooting along down the hall behind me.

Confusion - When stepping down from a step, step down onto braced leg.  When stepping up, step up with good leg.  If you try to do it the opposite way, you will come really close to falling.  I found this out the hard way.  Walking shouldn't be this tough.

Exhaustion - I now see what inactivity will do to a person.  I am tired all the time and I don't do much of anything other than my physical therapy.  My energy level has definitely decreased.  I can't wait to get active again to get my energy back.  This is ridiculous.

Gratitude - I see love in everything my husband does for me.  Whether it is the 278th load of laundry he is doing without my help, or grocery shopping or filling up my ice container for my knee--again--or just bringing me my morning coffee, I can tell he cares and I am SO grateful.