Six Weeks WIth My New Knee

Will my knees ever match like this again?

I've made it to the end of my sixth week, post surgery.

• I can finally (as of yesterday) bend my knee to 120 degrees.  Getting the bending back has been, by far, my biggest challenge.  Last time I saw my surgeon, he thought hitting 120 degrees by May 12th (my next visit with him) would be an aggressive goal for me.  I am SO pleased to have hit that goal ten days early.  It makes the hours upon hours of therapy actually feel worth the time and trouble.

• I still have to sleep in a straight brace and I can wear my bending brace during the day.  However, while I am at home around the house, I am allowed to walk (carefully) without a brace.  When I am without the brace, I find myself thinking about every step I take.  I really want to be able to bend my knee again when I sleep, but my therapist was hesitant to allow it just yet.  Something to do with tearing 2 tendons instead of just the ACL.  I will never take sleeping in the fetal position for granted ever again!

• I think that in about a week and a half (when I see my surgeon again) he will tell me I no longer have to wear either brace.  Although I am looking forward to that day, my brace has sort of become a "security blanket".  I know that my knee is safe in it, so it provides a sort of psychological security.  I've had a brace on my leg since February 10th (the date I tore my ACL and MCL), so the idea of not wearing one is actually strange to me now.

• I am really surprised by how well my scars are healing.  I've been religiously applying Mederma.  I don't know if it's helping or if I'm just healing on my own, but the scars are looking good.  I really thought they would look worse.  I remember showering the night before my surgery and looking at that knee thinking that it would never really look the same again.  While that is true, it's not nearly as bad as I anticipated.  I wonder how much more they will fade.

• Physical therapy has been going really well.  While it's painful sometimes, it's more of a healing pain.  I know that with the suffering comes healing--so it's very different from the pain of my actual injury.  Since my surgeon had me doing pre-surgery therapy, I have burned through my 20 insurance-covered visits quickly.  Luckily, my therapist has agreed to continue to see me and give me the one on one attention for just the cost of my normal co-pay and write off the rest of the cost as an expense.  I can continue to go twice a week until he feels I have received all of the treatment that would be necessary for my complete recovery.  I am so grateful.

• I find myself now wondering about the little things.  How long till I can just jog up the stairs without thinking about my knee?  How long till I can comfortably sit cross legged on the floor?  What will it feel like to run again?  How soon till I can leg press more than I could before the ski trip?  (Gosh, only 9 months till I ski again.  Strange to think about.)

I sort of feel like I've been in a cocoon since February--spending all of this time indoors, morphing into something else.  Morphing into a person with a "normal" knee again.  Trying to morph into a stronger person.  Trying to morph into someone without the fear of re-injury.  Trying to morph into the person I was before my injury and surgery--only better.  Hopefully, I am nearing the end of my transformation.  I have roller coasters to ride, walks to take, traveling to do, vacation time to use, pedicures to get and a life to get on with.  It's coming soon.  I can feel it.

P.S.  My first post-surgery roller coaster experience of 2008 is scheduled for the end of this month  (King's Island in Ohio).  I can't wait!