Kicking Like a Girl

You know how we all have our strengths and our weaknesses? Well, I kick like a girl. Yes, the secret is out. I don't think a career as an NFL kicker is going to pan out for me.

Sometimes at work, towards the end of the day, Nerf footballs are kicked over the sea of cubicles from the marketing department to as far back in the design department as one can get. It's great stress relief. Hitting the wall in the back where the restrooms are, or making it clear into the kitchen is the the ultimate kick.

I've tried several times and I haven't been able to clear the filing cabinets. I kick and then DOOF! It slams straight ahead, right into the gray metal.

There could be several reasons for this:

First, when asked if I kick with my left or right foot, I had no idea. I assumed my right foot (since I write with my right hand), but is this really common knowledge for most people? I generally don't go around kicking things enough to have a preferred foot.

Second, I am afraid that I might kick the hand of the person holding the ball and hurt their hand or finger, so I think I panic slightly at the last minute as my foot is about to make contact with the ball.

Third, I am afraid that I might kick that person's hand and hurt my foot (although I'm sure their hand would hurt worse). Again, last minute panic.

Fourth, come on, we've all seen the Charlie Brown holiday specials enough to know that someone might pull the ball away and I would land on my back after yelling "AUUUUGH!" and then be called a "blockhead".

Fifth, this is a real good way to chip a pedicure.

Finally, I think I kick like a girl because I am a girl. I'm not sure that I can do much about that.