Life Adjustments and a New Hobby!

As my former co-workers and I work on getting our new business off the ground, I am experiencing the daily challenges of not having money directly deposited into my bank account every other Friday.

First of all, there's the whole "no money" thing. It's amazing how attached you can become to cold, hard cash and how much you can miss it when it's not there.

Second, we don't have office space yet. I used to spend my days in constant contact with people. People would stop by my desk, people would call me, I would speak to vendors and eat lunch with people. Now, although I am still in contact with my business partners on a regular basis via phone and email, we don't meet every day, so I find myself really missing the social contact. Facebook is fun, but it just isn't quite the the same. I find myself talking to my dogs a lot and today I spontaneously vacuumed just to make some noise. (Well okay, the floor was dirty too.)

Third, I find that I put this strange pressure on myself since I am at home. I feel like since I am at here, the laundry should always be done, the counter tops wiped down, dishes put away, bills paid, Ebay sales packed up, etc, etc. So between emails, meetings, phone calls and research, I find myself turning into a crazy multitasking woman at home. Of course, I was a crazy multitasking woman at my previous job, so maybe I am filling that void somehow. I miss that adrenaline rush a little, I think.

On the other hand, not having to go to an office every day has allowed me some freedom. I am actually working out regularly now and recently had the opportunity to go and record promotional spots at a local radio station as their "Ordinary Listener of the Week" which was a lot of fun AND I scored some free restaurant gift cards.

Finally, I am proud to say, that despite all of the insanity that goes along with losing your job and trying to start a business, I am truly going to attempt to do one thing for me. One thing that will not make me any money, will not provide me any networking opportunities, will not get my chores done any faster. I am going to learn to play a musical instrument.

I am married to a musician, I have friends who are musicians, and although I have a great love of all things musical, I have never learned to play an instrument. I am 38 years old and have never learned to play anything. I want to change that.

I live in a house full of guitars that belong to my husband. Behold...the first musical instrument I have ever actually owned. This....is MY bass.






Oh...and I bought this:




My husband is going to help tutor me. (He's so sweet. I think he knows I really need this right now.) I'm really excited about it! Here's to future fingertip blisters and callouses!

One Year Anniversary

Above - Me, literally minutes before the infamous ACL/MCL tear.

February 10th has finally arrived.

This means that I have officially arrived at the one year anniversary of the tearing of my ACL and MCL on the slopes of Heavenly in Lake Tahoe.

Click HERE for a trip down memory lane. (I just did.)

I’m not sure what I expected at the year anniversary. In some ways, it feels much shorter than a year. In some ways, it feels so much longer.

I remember how sad I was last year that I was missing out on skiing for the rest of the trip and I just kept telling myself, “just wait one year—just one more year”. I’m glad I didn’t know at the time that I would lose my job and have to skip skiing this year. It would have been too much to take all at once. I was looking forward to that trip SO MUCH.

I don’t have any pain anymore (except for a hamstring that occasionally cramps if I do something intense without stretching first. I guess that’s understandable since they had to remove part of it to repair the ACL.)

I now have full range of motion back in my injured leg. My dedication to my physical therapy exercises definitely paid off in a big way. Life lesson: Don’t EVER skip your physical therapy homework no matter how much it hurts—you’ll thank yourself later.

I am still building strength in my injured leg. I think that’s the part that surprises me the most—how long it takes to get your muscle strength back after not using it. I’ve actually started biking daily now and will probably start incorporating a few short runs into my routine soon now that the weather is warming up a little. I’ve allowed myself a year to heal. Now, it’s time to get all my strength back.

Looking back, I am thankful for so much. I am thankful that the injury wasn’t worse. I am thankful that I had some great pain meds to help me through the duration of the trip and my travels home. I am thankful that my husband was so helpful and patient with me during the ridiculously intense following months. I am thankful for a great surgeon and physical therapist who both made the experience about as tolerable as it could be. I am thankful I had a laptop and first floor bedroom. I am thankful I had a job (at the time) that was flexible enough to let me work from home immediately following my surgery.

February 10th is a date that I will never forget. There is a lot of sadness and pain associated with that day for me. The injury itself, a painful sled ride down the mountain, a five-hour wait in the ER until pain medicine relief, nearly impossible sleeping conditions even with the Vicodin, Benadryl and red wine and the struggle to stifle the sadness so as not to be a “downer” on the rest of the group—and that was just the beginning.

The surgery and excruciating physical therapy that followed then tested me to a whole new level.

So, cheers to you, February 10th. I raise my Sugar Free Red Bull to you this morning. I’m using this date as my next launching pad. I’m moving onward and upward from here to improve my strength and endurance and to continue to chase my professional dreams so that I might be able to physically and financially ski again next year. I will be physically stronger, mentally prepared and financially stable. This time it’s up to me.

Albert Einstein once said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”.

Things are definitely changing.

The New Adventure

Well, after a difficult year of injuries, job loss and other tragedies, I am walking on eggshells into 2009. I guess that's why this is the first post of the year--and it's February. I am trying to be careful not to stir up any drama. I'm almost afraid to write anything down.

I lost my job right before Christmas. I worked in an art department for an entertainment company scheduling and managing the flow of jobs for some extremely talented individuals. I loved my job.

As I tiptoe into 2009, five of my former co-workers and myself are bonding together in an attempt to form a company. (Sort of like the department that companies no longer have since everyone is losing their jobs.)

I've never done anything like this before in my life. In fact, I've never wanted to do anything like this before in my life.

I'm usually the "safe" one. The planner. I don't usually take risks. However, it somehow feels right to take this leap of faith and start a crazy graphic design/photography/3D animation/podcasting/copywriting/motion graphics/publishing company with five people I respect, admire and trust.

Slowly, I am peeling back the layers of sadness, anger and frustration. I am replacing them with an entrepreneurial spirit, faith and good old-fashioned hard work.

Although it has been a roller-coaster ride over the last few weeks as we encounter new challenges we didn't know we would have ahead of us, we have made amazing progress and I can't wait to see what happens next. It feels like we are on the verge of something great.

Circumstances being what they are, I am being much more careful with spending, clipping more coupons, working out more, communicating with God more and actually starting to feel like my old self again. My pre-2008 self again. I'm almost...dare I say it...happy.

So, as this new, unprecedented adventure begins, I am entering unfamiliar territory. Instead of mailing out resumes, I'm knocking on doors. Instead of going to interviews, I'm looking for office space. Instead of learning new co-workers' names, I am developing a partnership with my old co-workers.

Thanks to a flexible and patient husband, a severance package, a few weeks of unemployment pay and a dream, I am getting to try something new in life and I'll never have to wonder "what would have happened if".

Succeed or fail--here we come.