Enough is Enough Already

It's been a trying week.

Movie ticket sales weren't as big as we were hoping them to be for opening weekend (although we have increased our number of theaters and are hoping for a strong second weekend). With layoffs occurring and/or scheduled at both my company and my husband's company (lovely coincidence, isn't it?), I have just been riding a wave of emotions.

Fear that I might lose my job. Relief when I didn't. Sadness for the people who did. Fear that my husband could lose his. Frustration and anger as the impending layoffs at his company are dragging on with no information. Frustration with myself for being, well...frustrated. Finally, the frustration just turned to...numbness.

My only saving grace this week was the gym. As the stress increased, so did the intensity of my workout. I started out the week following the guidelines of my trainer on where I should keep my heart-rate during a workout, to just saying "screw it" and not really caring how fast my pulse raced and pushing myself as hard as I could. I think I like pushing myself because it makes me feel less numb. Then there's the part of me that just wants to skip work, put on sweats, drink heavily, and watch Grey's Anatomy all day and night without showering, but I don't think that would help anyone. So instead...I hit the elliptical machines until it hurt before the numbness would slip back in.

So, I think that finally, today, I am feeling a little better. It still bothers me to know that major layoffs are coming for his company, but I can't stay in this...funk. So, I took a drive in the sunshine at lunch. I stopped by the movie theater and bought tickets to go see Cloverfield tomorrow night (seeing a monster tear up New York should get my mind off reality for a while) and this afternoon I cheered myself up by listening to some Nickelback, Buckcherry and The Rolling Stones at my desk while I worked.

Whatever happens, happens. Enough is enough. I can waste my time wringing my hands over what might be or I can just move on. I don't want the fear of the unknown to ruin my weekend.

TGIF. Maybe next week will be better. In the meantime, I'll just keep burning calories.