Uncharted Territory

Okay, I've gone and done it.

I decided, that for my upcoming tropical trip to Jamaica, I want to wear a bikini for the first time in my life. That's right--first time ever. EVER. So I purchased one. It is almost identical to the one shown above except it is a gorgeous shade of kelly green.

Now, for a few disclaimers:

1 - Bikini will not be worn in the light of day--it will only be worn after dark for night swimming, night hot tub soaking and night lounge chair lounging.

2 - Bikini will only be worn in a foreign country where there is no chance of seeing anyone I know.

3 - Bikini will be covered with a cover up when walking from room to destination and back again.

4 - Bikini will only be viewed by husband and total strangers who I will never see again.

Why, one might ask, would one do this to themselves--especially at age 37? If I didn't wear one 20 years ago, why on earth would I start now? And here is my answer:

I am 37. I do not have a perfect body. However, I don't know how many more opportunities I am going to have to lounge on tropical beaches in my lifetime and I'm definitely not going to be doing this at my neighborhood pool. So, I've read all the articles about swimsuits and the "less is more" theory that with an adjustable, string bikini, you don't have anything pushing you or squeezing you anywhere. So, I went and tried one on--for the first time. Ever. (Seriously, I've never even had the nerve to take one to the dressing room before.)

I have to tell you, it was a little frightening. First, I was almost afraid to look. Then, after a little adjustment of the string ties here and there, I started to look carefully at it. The green looked great with my tan skin and dark hair. There was good butt coverage. I looked happy. Free. Tropical. It wasn't nearly as bad as I was expecting it to be and I kind of liked it. So, I made the purchase and brought it home.

I thought I had better look and see how it looked at home (you know, different mirrors, different lighting--they might have been trying to trick me at the store). So, I put it on again. And it wasn't half bad. I was surprised by how much I liked it. My dogs even gave me approving looks.

So, my itsy bitsy teeny weenie green bikini is now hanging in our bedroom. I'm hanging it there as a reminder. A reminder that our vacation is coming. A reminder to keep hitting the gym. A reminder to watch the calories. A reminder to cut out the carbs for the two or three weeks prior to my trip. (But even if I had to leave tomorrow, I would still wear it.)

Most of all, it is a reminder of how far I have come.

I've survived a torn up knee and surgery. I've survived weeks upon weeks of physical therapy. I've even gone back to the gym even when no one is forcing me to. I'm happy that my body getting strong again. I'm happy that it's functional again. Hell, in comparison, wearing a bikini now seems trivial. Why not wear a bikini?

So me and my body, imperfections, curves and all, are going to do it. We are going to wear a bikini in public for the first time ever.

...and I'll be able to cross off one more scary item from that list of things to do before I die. Wish me luck...